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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Garments

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

Anger is the enemy of non-violence
and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Tao abides in non-action,
Yet nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Non-violence is the article of faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The architect must be a prophet...
a prophet in the true sense of the term...
if he can't see at least ten years ahead don't call him an architect.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius

Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor

Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A great architect is not made by way of a brain
nearly so much as he is made by way
of a cultivated, enriched heart.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The architect should strive continually to simplify;
the ensemble of the rooms should then be carefully considered
that comfort and utility may go hand in hand with beauty.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who is successful is the man who is useful.
- Bourke Cockran

When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind -
A Mind is Only Useful When Tamed..
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have called this principle,
by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved,
by the term of Natural Selection.
- Charles Darwin

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford

I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Competition has been shown to be useful
up to a certain point and no further,
but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today,
begins where competition leaves off.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Don't Let It Poison Your Day.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... the Antidote is Perspective.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Your Mind is Only Useful When Tamed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Autobiographies are only as useful
as the lives you read about and analyze
may suggest to you something that
you may find useful in your own journey through life.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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