Let these funny Family Quotes add some humor to your life. And check out many more Funny Quotes from my large collection.
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
Consider a new beginning with your family -
choose to take them less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
- Desmond Tutu
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are my family because I CHOOSE you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What can you do to promote world peace?
Go home and love your family.
- Mother Teresa
What is our family?
We touch our full hearts and see ourselves
reflected whole in each other's eyes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead
Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead
You are my Family
- Karen Drucker
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Sometimes, our family's most important job
is reminding us how unimportant we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unlike grown-ups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou
I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank
A child miseducated is a child lost.
- John F. Kennedy
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
Children are educated by what the grown-up is
and not by his talk.
- Carl Jung
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln
A house is made of walls and beams;
a home is built with love and dreams.
- Anonymous
It is not possible for civilization to
flow backwards while there is youth in the world.
Youth may be headstrong,
but it will advance its allotted length.
- Helen Keller
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb
We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children
that makes the heart too big for the body.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
A son is a son till he takes him a wife,
a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
- Irish Traditional
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Abraham Lincoln
Don't prepare the path for the child,
prepare the child for the path.
- Anonymous
We must not inflict life on children who will be resented;
we must not inflict unwanted children on society.
- Anne Lamott
Many societies have educated their male children
on the simple device of teaching them not to be women.
- Margaret Mead
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When your whole family is loving and supportive, it is a great blessing.
But when family members are indifferent or hostile, release your expectations,
and find the love and support you need elsewhere.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Instead of needing lots of children,
we need high-quality children.
- Margaret Mead
The final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
There was never a child so lovely
but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
- Honore de Balzac
And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born
it compels humility: what we began is now its own.
- Margaret Mead
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.