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Funny Quotes about Explains

The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
- William Arthur Ward

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

If you can't explain it simply,
you don't understand it well enough.
- Albert Einstein

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi

Never ascribe to malice that which is
adequately explained by incompetence.
- Napoleon

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan

Being is the great explainer.
- Henry David Thoreau

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

The African is my brother but he is
my younger brother by several centuries.
- Albert Schweitzer

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Success is never so interesting as struggle
- Willa Cather

The most interesting information comes from children,
for they tell all they know and then stop.
- Mark Twain

The only interesting answers are those that destroy the questions.
- Susan Sontag

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates

Indifference and neglect often
do much more damage than outright dislike.
- J. K. Rowling

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness
than to ask for permission.
- Grace Hopper

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
- Helen Keller

In time we hate that which we often fear.
- William Shakespeare

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

Often the hands will solve a mystery
that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Carl Jung

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.
- Charles Caleb Colton

I have the right to love many people at once
and to change my prince often.
- Anais Nin

When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller

Our connection with Spirit is unbreakable, but often imperceptible.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis

I've learned that mistakes can often be
as good a teacher as success.
- Jack Welch


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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