Funny Quotes about Excuse

If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver

What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I think what's going on in Guantanamo Bay
and other places is a disgrace to the U.S.A.
I wouldn't say it's the cause of terrorism,
but it has given impetus and excuses to potential terrorists
to lash out at our country and justify their despicable acts.
- Jimmy Carter

Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz

I think and think for months and years.
Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right.
- Albert Einstein

Genius is one percent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison

Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus

The possession of knowledge does not
kill the sense of wonder and mystery.
There is always more mystery.
- Anais Nin

Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity
are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine,
a possession for all time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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