Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Dwellings

We shape our dwellings, and afterwards
our dwellings shape us.
- Winston Churchill

It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco

Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts,
cause your mind to dwell on peace and joy.
- Ernest Holmes

It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

You must not under any pretense allow
your mind to dwell on any thought
that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.
- Emmet Fox

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

Understand that the right to
choose your own path
is a sacred privilege.
Use it.
Dwell in possibility.
- Oprah Winfrey

Dwell in stillness.
Observe without reacting and without judging.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
- Albert Einstein

The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

To deprive a man of his natural liberty
and to deny to him the ordinary amenities of life
is worse then starving the body;
it is starvation of the soul, the dweller in the body.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.