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Funny Quotes about Diverts

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

Do not let spacious plans for a new world
divert your energies from saving
what is left of the old.
- Winston Churchill

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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