I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein
Be Deliciously Naughty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
I am Deliciously Naughty.
I am Enchantingly Whimsical.
I am Filled With Mischief and Giggles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) 
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Anger spells dANGER.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The answer is twelve monkeys, what's the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
- Yogi Berra
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West
Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Although prepared for martyrdom,
I preferred that it be postponed.
- Winston Churchill
I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
I have taken more out of alcohol
than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.