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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Defenses

People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi

The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.
- Mark Overby

The problem in defense is
how far you can go without destroying from within
what you are trying to defend from without.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A nation that continues year after year
to spend more money on military defense
than on programs of social uplift
is approaching spiritual doom.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit
which prizes liberty as a heritage of all men,
in all lands, everywhere.
Destroy this spirit and you have planted
the seeds of despotism around your own doors.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw

A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The challenge of living a great life is to create
a meaningful whole out of sometimes ill-fitting halves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela

The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To lead a great life:
Dream, Take Action, Repeat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

We come nearest to the great
when we are great in humility.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Great acts are made up of small deeds.
- Lao Tzu

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers,
who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt
to offer a solution everybody can understand.
- Colin Powell

Thinking is necessary, but not sufficient, for living a great life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the greatest casualties
of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society...
shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We are all connected in the great Circle of Life.
- the movie The Lion King

The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer

Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung

To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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