Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers.
This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated
thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead
You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)
Be Utterly and Dependably Unexpected.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch
Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
In this world, the greatest courage is to drop the mind aside.
The bravest man is who can see the world
without the barrier of the mind, just as it is.
It is tremendously different, utterly beautiful.
There is nobody who is inferior and there is nobody who is superior -
there are no distinctions.
- Osho
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.