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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Correction

Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous

A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden

If the children are untaught,
their ignorance and vices will in future life
cost us much dearer in their consequences
than it would have done in their
correction by a good education.
- Thomas Jefferson

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is noted that a stopped clock is correct twice each day.
In a similar manner, a person who is unchanging appears wise occasionally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

If evil be spoken of you
and it be true, correct yourself,
if it be a lie, laugh at it.
- Epictetus

It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw

Correcting bad habits cannot be done
by forbidding or punishment.
- Robert Baden-Powell (the founder of scouting)

Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky

The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved for yourself,
or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
- Victor Hugo

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible,
no matter whether it is on a section gang,
a football field, in an army, or in an office.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme.
Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful.
Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just.
Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.
- Lao Tzu

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy
in creative expression and knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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