Funny Quotes about Correcting

It is noted that a stopped clock is correct twice each day.
In a similar manner, a person who is unchanging appears wise occasionally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If evil be spoken of you
and it be true, correct yourself,
if it be a lie, laugh at it.
- Epictetus

It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw

The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved for yourself,
or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
- Victor Hugo

Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous

A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden

If the children are untaught,
their ignorance and vices will in future life
cost us much dearer in their consequences
than it would have done in their
correction by a good education.
- Thomas Jefferson

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

Love is an act of faith,
and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
- Erich Fromm

Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein

Whoever does not regard what he has
as most ample wealth, is unhappy,
though he be master of the world.
- Epictetus

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein

Nothing is more valuable than your self respect.
When you lose respect for yourself, you have lost everything.
Whatever it takes, and whoever you upset,
do what you know - deep inside - is the right thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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