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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Cling

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda

We cling to our own point of view,
as though everything depended on it.
Yet our opinions have no permanence;
like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
- Zhuangzi

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

The moment you become miserly you are closed
to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment you start clinging to things,
you have missed the target.
Because things are not the target,
you, your innermost being, is the target -
not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you;
not much money, but a rich you;
not many things, but an open being,
available to millions of things.
- Osho

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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