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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Churches

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I love you when you bow in your mosque,
kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
For you and I are sons of one religion,
and it is the Spirit.
- Khalil Gibran

The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel the same way about solitude as some people
feel about the blessing of the church.
It's the light of grace for me.
I never close my door behind me without the awareness
that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.
- Peter Hoeg

We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll

It's YOUR time - it's YOUR life -
YOU get to choose how you use it. T
here is no way that your life is "supposed" to be.
Your parents had their vision for your life.
Your boss, your spouse, your church, your friends,
and even the family next door have their ideas
of how you should live your life.
What about YOUR vision for your life?
What do YOU want?
YES, it matters what you want.
YES you can have what you want.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz

In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The highest proof of the spirit is love.
Love is the eternal thing which men can already
on earth possess as it really is.
- Albert Schweitzer

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it
as he who helps to perpetrate it.
He who accepts evil without protesting against it
is really cooperating with it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Look at other people and ask yourself
if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

We really have to understand the person we want to love.
If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

To have a friendship with God,
all I really have to do is have
a friendship with my Self.
- Neale Donald Walsch

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are
and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess,
we act and think in vain,
and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.
- Joseph Addison

The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard

We do not need to proselytize
either by our speech or by our writing.
We can only do so really with our lives.
Let our lives be open books for all to study.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel

One of the secrets of life is that
all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others.
- Lewis Carroll

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e. e. cummings

It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau

What you seem to be, be really.
- Benjamin Franklin

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Sometimes the things you really want
sneak in the back door.
Notice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have to really like you to share my food with you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We can never get enough of what we don't really need.
- Matthew Kelly

One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those
who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Get up-close-and-personal:
Life looks different when you really get involved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The really great secret - Happiness is free.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank

You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee

Everything that is really great and inspiring
is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
- Albert Einstein

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- Gail Sheehy

A friendship that can end never really began.
- Publilius Syrus

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything,
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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