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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Characteristics

Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein

It is a characteristic of wisdom
not to do desperate things.
- Henry David Thoreau

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
- Chinese Proverb

People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

He who is contented is rich.
- Lao Tzu

If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates

He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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