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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Boundaries

Set and enforce your personal boundaries.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter

Today, I Respect And Enforce The Boundaries I Have Set.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Eternity:
I am drawn to the wild edge of the ocean of my being
My curiosity unbound, I test the limits
of the limitless and the boundaries of the timeless.
I walk the path - the way - the way of ways -
to the end which is not an end.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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