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Funny Quotes about Benevolence

When virtue is lost, benevolence appears,
when benevolence is lost right conduct appears,
when right conduct is lost, expedience appears.
Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth;
it is the beginning of disorder.
- Lao Tzu

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade,
but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement
the greater part of life is sunshine.
- Thomas Jefferson

Today is the bridge between the past,
regarding which we unconditionally accept that
everything has occurred according to God's plan,
and a future where we place our unconditional trust
in God's omnipotence and His benevolent design for our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.