Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Believes

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott

An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.
- Thomas Jefferson

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

Ignorance is preferable to error,
and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing
than he who believes what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whether one believes in a religion or not,
and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't
appreciate kindness and compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

To accomplish great things,
we must not only act, but also dream;
not only plan, but also believe.
- Anatole France

Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't believe that imagining is enough.
- Bono

I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything,
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Believe you can and you're halfway there.
- Theodore Roosevelt

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin

It is done to you as you believe.
- Ernest Holmes

Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.