Funny Quotes about Baseball

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Baseball

Funny Quotes