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Funny Quotes about Balm

Friendship is certainly the finest balm
for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Jane Austen

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates

A friendship that can end never really began.
- Publilius Syrus

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard

Friendship without self-interest
is one of the rare and beautiful things in life.
- James Francis Byrnes

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility,
never an opportunity.
- Khalil Gibran

If a friendship isn't comfortable, it's not a friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

Above all else, my inspiration is friendship.
- Bono

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

There are not many things in life
so beautiful as true friendship,
and not many things more uncommon.
- Anonymous

No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny
without leaving some mark on it forever.
- Francois Muriac

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense,
and have her nonsense respected.
- Charles Lamb

"How do you spell 'love'?" asked Piglet.
"You don't spell it...you feel it." answered Pooh.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Friendship, like the immortality of the soul,
is too good to be believed.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Business, you know, may bring money,
but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen

Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.