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Funny Quotes about Ballots

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln

Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors to bullets.
- Abraham Lincoln

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Confession of errors is like a broom
which sweeps away the dirt
and leaves the surface brighter and clearer.
I feel stronger for confession.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Love is stronger than justice.
- Sting

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

Do not pray for easy lives.
Pray to be stronger men.
- John F. Kennedy

The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard

You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Each day, I am healthier, younger,
stronger, more comfortable,
and more joyful than the day before.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We tell lies when we are afraid...
afraid of what we don't know,
afraid of what others will think,
afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie,
the thing that we fear grows stronger.
- Williams Tad

Feelings are much stronger than thoughts.
We are all led by instinct,
and our intellect catches up later.
- Bono

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous

Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

USE this time of fresh beginnings.
Use it as an impetus, the force or energy toward change.
Become stronger, a better leader, more focused in your thoughts.
Exert more influence over your dreams
by bringing them closer to your thoughts, every day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Truth always rests with the minority,
and the minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion,
while the strength of a majority is illusory,
formed by the gangs who have no opinion -
and who, therefore, in the next instant
(when it is evident that the minority is the stronger)
assume its opinion... while truth again reverts to a new minority.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I am an excitable person who only
understands life lyrically, musically,
in whom feelings are much stronger as reason.
- Anais Nin

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.