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Funny Quotes about Attained

Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

Peace cannot be achieved through violence,
it can only be attained through understanding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford

True happiness... is not attained
through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

Life is not easy for any of us.
But what of that?
We must have perseverance
and above all confidence in ourselves.
We must believe that we are gifted for something
and that this thing must be attained.
- Marie Curie

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled
with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare,
social justice can never be attained.
- Helen Keller

Compassion, in which all ethics must take root,
can only attain its full breadth and depth
if it embraces all living creatures
and does not limit itself to mankind.
- Albert Schweitzer

I attain Inner Peace by Intending my future, and never Expecting it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision.
The ability to direct individual accomplishments
toward organizational objectives.
It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
- Andrew Carnegie

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

One cannot have wisdom without perspective,
but once gaining perspective, one attains wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to view every situation
as each person who is in any way affected
by that situation might view it.
Wisdom benefits from having a knowledge of history,
and therefore a historical perspective,
as well from as having the perspective of imagination -
the realm of the what-might-be
inhabited by futurists and science-fiction writers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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