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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Anchoring

Anchoring in soft mud is dangerous.
Anchor thyself to the rocks of Faith, Compassion, and Service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To reach a port, we must sail -
sail, not tie at anchor - sail, not drift.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor,
nor should life rest on a single hope.
- Epictetus

I was more independent than any farmer in Concord,
for I was not anchored to a house or farm,
but could follow the bent of my genius,
which is a very crooked one, every moment.
- Henry David Thoreau

Hero needed - apply now -
open minded independent thinker -
courage preferred.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important outcome of education
is to help students become independent of formal education.
- Paul E. Gray

Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a choice - independent of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am simultaneously ME - an independent BEing
of free-will and bold courage,
and ME - an integral and inseparable element
of the web of timeless creation.
I am a paradox - a duality -
and yet an entirely unified ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital.
Capital is only the fruit of labor,
and could never have existed if labor had not first existed.
Labor is the superior of capital,
and deserves much the higher consideration.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every hero becomes a bore at last.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

A hero is an ordinary individual
who finds the strength to persevere
and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.
- Christopher Reeve

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man,
but he is brave five minutes longer.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let today be the day that you choose
to become your own greatest Hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A hero may or may not lead other people,
but all heroes lead themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I honor you, Hero, for you do not play to the crowd.
You play to your own soul.
An audience of one fills the house with its appreciation and applause.
Others follow you, and may attempt to emulate you,
but that is not why you are a hero.
Fame may smile upon you, or it may not.
The world may cheer your name, or you may be the unknown warrior
who rescued comrades in battle,
or taught a young girl how to shed tears of joy.
Whatever you did, you did not do for fame.
If you had, you would not be a Hero.
You are a Hero for your bold courageous inspired action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be Your Own Personal Greatest Hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Welcome the conquering Hero -
and recognize that the Hero is... ourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A hero is someone who has given his life to
something bigger than himself
or something other than himself.
- Joseph Campbell

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.