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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Acquaintances

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Compassion, in which all ethics must take root,
can only attain its full breadth and depth
if it embraces all living creatures
and does not limit itself to mankind.
- Albert Schweitzer

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes

Who would ever think that so much went on
in the soul of a young girl?
- Anne Frank

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Teach and practice, practice and teach - that is all we have;
that is all we are good for; that is all we ever ought to do.
- Ernest Holmes

Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill

No man will ever carry out of the Presidency
the reputation which carried him into it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Have you ever hugged a tree?
Hug a tree, and one day you will come to know
that it is not only that
you have hugged the tree
but that the tree also responds,
the tree also hugs you.
- Osho

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
- Thomas Jefferson

In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

No government ought to be without censors;
and where the press is free no one ever will.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel

The method of nature: who could ever analyze it?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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