A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West 
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror.
As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.
- Carl Jung
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates
A man never knows how to say goodbye;
a woman never knows when to say it.
- Helen Rowland
It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf
The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha
Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays
It's all right for a woman to be, above all, human.
I am a woman first of all.
- Anais Nin
Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man.
- Margaret Mead
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin
Man can never be a woman's equal
in the spirit of selfless service
with which nature has endowed her.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A woman is the only thing I am afraid of
that I know will not hurt me.
- Abraham Lincoln
I have worshipped woman as the living embodiment
of the spirit of service and sacrifice.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray
Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement.
Properly understood and applied,
it is the most potent instrument of action.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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