Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes
by Marcel Proust

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust

I take the helm on my life voyage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The final lesson a writer learns is that
everything can nourish the writer.
The dictionary, a new word, a voyage, an encounter,
a talk on the street, a book, a phrase learned.
- Anais Nin

Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

The process of scientific discovery is,
in effect, a continual flight from wonder.
- Albert Einstein

If I have seen further, it is
by standing on the shoulders of giants.
- Isaac Newton

There is no logical way to the discovery
of these elemental laws.
There is only the way of intuition,
which is helped by a feeling
for the order lying behind the appearance.
- Albert Einstein

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

There's no wrong, only discovery...
- Byron Katie

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
- James Joyce

He who never made a mistake,
never made a discovery.
- Samuel Smiles

The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James

Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Every day is a new day -
a day for new beginnings, new dreams, new action -
a day for challenge, adventure, and discovery.
TODAY, what is your goal?
What is your dream?
What action are you taking to further your goals and dreams?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The basic discovery about any people is the discovery
of the relationship between men and women.
- Pearl S. Buck

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.