One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde 
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Familiarity breeds consent.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde
The smallest act of kindness
is worth more than the grandest intention.
- Oscar Wilde
A mask tells us more than a face.
- Oscar Wilde
Who, being loved, is poor?
- Oscar Wilde
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.