No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong 
Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong
Hate generalizes; love is particular.
- Erica Jong
Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
- Erica Jong
The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Solitude is considered un-American.
- Erica Jong
Love is serene and calm
- Erica Jong
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong
The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong
The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong
Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong
Love gives without taking
- Erica Jong
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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