Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Things are only impossible until they're not.
- Jean-Luc Picard, character in STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
- John Morley
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.