I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.