A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken
The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.