Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children
by Napoleon Hill

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children
of the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
- Napoleon Hill

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Do it Now!
- Napoleon Hill

Success... A goal is a dream with a deadline.
- Napoleon Hill

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.
- Napoleon Hill

A goal is a dream with a deadline.
- Napoleon Hill

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill

The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

The starting point of all achievement is desire.
- Napoleon Hill

Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill

Patience, persistence and perspiration
make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
- Napoleon Hill

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.
We all breathe the same air.
We all cherish our children's future.
And we are all mortal.
- John F. Kennedy

Cherish the uncertainty of life's adventures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal
is our only legitimate hope of survival.
- Wendell Berry

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

Just as a man would not cherish living
in a body other than his own,
so do nations not like to live under other nations,
however noble and great the latter may be.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Friends... they cherish one another's hopes.
They are kind to one another's dreams.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is curious to observe what different
ideals of happiness people cherish,
and in what singular places they look
for this well-spring of their life.
Many look for it in the hoarding of riches,
some in the pride of power,
and others in the achievements of art and literature;
a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds,
or in search for knowledge.
- Helen Keller

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Choose to soar. Choose to fly your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.