Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
by Thomas Paine

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
but they whose heart is firm,
and whose conscience approves their conduct,
will pursue their principles unto death.
- Thomas Paine

Lead follow or get out of the way.
- Thomas Paine

The strength and power of despotism
consists wholly in the fear of resistance.
- Thomas Paine

The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Winners Dream Big Dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man of genius inspires us with
a boundless confidence in our own powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
- Albert Camus

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker

You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Only he is successful in his business who makes that pursuit
which affords him the highest pleasure sustain him.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved.
He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
- Ralph Nader

If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive.
If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative.
- Anonymous

It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker

An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu

The sum of wisdom is that
time is never lost that is devoted to work.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The glue that holds all relationships together -
including the relationship between; the leader and the led
is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
- Brian Tracy

leading by example creates a degree of
loyalty and overall success
that cannot be achieved through
issuing orders from a lofty office.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Leaders are those who empower others.
- Bill Gates

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford

Example is leadership.
- Albert Schweitzer

If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu

The buck stops here.
- Harry S. Truman

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

Management is doing things right;
leadership is doing the right things.
- Peter F. Drucker

Let us never negotiate out of fear.
But let us never fear to negotiate.
- John F. Kennedy

We cannot make good news out of bad practice.
- Edward R. Murrow

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

Never tell people how to do things.
Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
- George S. Patton

The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu

Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
- Mark Twain

The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Be resolute in your goals,
but flexible in your tactics.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose.
- Leonardo da Vinci

To lead people walk behind them.
- Lao Tzu

The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

Choose a job you love,
and you will never have to work a day in your life.
- Confucius

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill

Never hold discussions with the monkey
when the organ grinder is in the room.
- Winston Churchill

The timid man yearns for full value and demands a tenth.
The bold man strikes for double value and compromises on par.
- Mark Twain


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.