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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes by Sally Koch

Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu PHOTO

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather PHOTO

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. PHOTO

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Being is the great explainer.
- Henry David Thoreau

To be oneself is a rare thing, and a great one.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln

The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiving is not a gift to someone else.
Forgiving is your gift to yourself -
a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu

The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes

These are not dark days -
these are great days.
- Winston Churchill

A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen

There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen

In principle, the great religions of the world
do not differ as much as they appear to.
- Ernest Holmes

Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. -
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus

Little strokes,
Fell great oaks.
- Benjamin Franklin

The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

If the misery of the poor be caused
not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions,
great is our sin.
- Charles Darwin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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