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Funny Quotes by Saint Francis de Sales

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999) PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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