One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life
comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
- Robert A. Heinlein
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.