Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes by Luciano Pavarotti

Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not?
- Luciano Pavarotti

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

I set my own course through the ocean of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The common denominator of our heroes
is that each set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson PHOTO

Persevere in moving toward highly worthwhile but difficult goals.
In smaller issues, take an easier course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles PHOTO

And think not, you can direct the course of love;
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
- Khalil Gibran

A small body of determined spirits
fired by an unquenchable faith
in their mission
can alter the course of history.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I hold my course with focused attention
and relentless commitment,
as I weather the storms of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay at the center
and let all things take their course.
- Lao Tzu

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

Take a course in good water and air;
and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own.
Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you.
- John Muir

Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until
we have been stuck, incapacitated,
or blown off course for awhile.
- David Whyte

How we spend our days is of course
how we spend our lives.
- Annie Dillard

We should take care not to make the intellect our god;
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein

If you want to be heroic,
Don't emulate your heroes,
learn from them.
Heroes don't follow anyone,
they set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson

The success of love is in the loving -
it is not in the result of loving.
Of course it is natural in love
to want the best for the other person,
but whether it turns out that way or not
does not determine the value of what we have done.
- Mother Teresa

I Act with Bold Courage -
Taking inspiration from the powerful vision of my future,
I boldly set sail with courage and intent.
I hold my course with focused attention and relentless commitment,
as I weather the storms of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The world you see has nothing to do with reality.
It is of your own making and does not exist.
- A Course In Miracles

My happiness depends on me.
- A Course in Miracles

Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)

In your brother is The Light.
See him as sinless,
and there can be no fear in you.
- A Course In Miracles

Do you prefer that you be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles

Would you rather be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles

Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles

Seek not outside yourself.
- A Course in Miracles

The ego lives by comparisons...
The ego cannot survive without judgment.
- A Course in Miracles

There are many answers you have received
but have not yet heard.
- A Course In Miracles

When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles

You cannot be totally committed sometimes.
- A Course In Miracles

Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles

Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.