Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes by John Greenleaf Whittier

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw PHOTO

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson PHOTO

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie PHOTO

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter PHOTO

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau PHOTO

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington PHOTO

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden PHOTO

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson PHOTO

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb

What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser

The Principal Causes of Our Suffering
are Our Expectations and Our Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

History is written by the victors.
- Winston Churchill

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold
is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.
- Socrates

Politeness is organized indifference.
- Paul Valery

Seeing is not always believing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I object to violence because
when it appears to do good,
the good is only temporary;
the evil it does is permanent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

He who sows hurry reaps indigestion.
- Robert Louis Stevenson


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.