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Funny Quotes by Isocrates

Do not do to others what would anger you
if done to you by others.
- Isocrates (Ancient Greek)

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999) PHOTO

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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