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Funny Quotes by Charles Darwin

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

I have tried lately to read Shakespeare,
and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
- Charles Darwin

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin

In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin

We must, however, acknowledge, as it seems to me,
that man with all his noble qualities...
still bears in his bodily frame
the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.
- Charles Darwin

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

The mystery of the beginning
of all things is insoluble by us;
and I for one, must be content to remain an agnostic.
- Charles Darwin

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

I have called this principle,
by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved,
by the term of Natural Selection.
- Charles Darwin

On the ordinary view of each species
having been independently created,
we gain no scientific explanation.
- Charles Darwin

Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped,
probably arboreal in its habits.
- Charles Darwin

Animals, whom we have made our slaves,
we do not like to consider our equal.
- Charles Darwin

How paramount the future is to the present
when one is surrounded by children.
- Charles Darwin

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

In the struggle for survival,
the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals
because they succeed in adapting
themselves best to their environment.
- Charles Darwin

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin

It is not the strongest of the species that survive,
nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.
- Charles Darwin

If the misery of the poor be caused
not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions,
great is our sin.
- Charles Darwin

A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -
a mere heart of stone.
- Charles Darwin

My mind seems to have become a kind of machine for
grinding general laws out of large collections of facts.
- Charles Darwin

I love fools' experiments.
I am always making them.
- Charles Darwin

Man tends to increase at a greater rate
than his means of subsistence.
- Charles Darwin

I am turned into a sort of machine for observing facts
and grinding out conclusions.
- Charles Darwin

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who lives in harmony with himself
lives in harmony with the universe.
- Marcus Aurelius

The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell

The moral arc of the universe
bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert

The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts

I look for what needs to be done.
After all, that's how the universe designs itself.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The universe must exist for the self-expression
of God and the delight of God.
- Ernest Holmes

The manifest universe is the body of God ...
all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.
- Ernest Holmes

The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

At the deepest level, there is no giver, no gift, and no recipient...
only the universe rearranging itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes

The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

We live in a spiritual Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

As you simplify your life,
the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude,
poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe.
I have all that I need.
- Louise L. Hay

The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden

The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Mind exists as a Principle in the universe,
just as electricity exists as a principle.
- Ernest Holmes

All the energy of the universe is mine
to use as spirit directs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

There is a power for good in the universe
greater than you are and you can use it.
- Ernest Holmes

The universe is wider than our views of it.
- Henry David Thoreau

The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg

To discover joy is to return to
a state of oneness with the universe.
- Peggy Jenkins

In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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