Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes by Bernard Meltzer

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare PHOTO

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney PHOTO

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson PHOTO

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci PHOTO

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb

Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi

True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
Celebrate it every day.
- Anonymous

Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

If evil be spoken of you
and it be true, correct yourself,
if it be a lie, laugh at it.
- Epictetus

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In true friendship, one can express
anything and everything without feeling ashamed
or afraid of being rejected.
- Aparna Chatterjee

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

What is true of the individual will be
tomorrow true of the whole nation
if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
- Socrates

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu

The True Path is the path on which
there is no coming and no going.
- Traditional Zen Koan

True happiness... is not attained
through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

There are not many things in life
so beautiful as true friendship,
and not many things more uncommon.
- Anonymous

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

"To know" is to know that you know nothing.
That is the meaning of true knowledge.
- Confucius

Follow your instincts.
That's where true wisdom manifests itself.
- Oprah Winfrey

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize
how little we understand about life,
ourselves, and the world around us.
- Socrates

Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are certain pursuits which,
if not wholly poetic and true,
do at least suggest a nobler and finer
relation to nature than we know.
The keeping of bees, for instance.
- Henry David Thoreau

The true sign of intelligence
is not knowledge but imagination.
- Albert Einstein

We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich

True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau

Know that you do not need anyone's permission
to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.