Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes by Antony Jay

The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers,
but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions.
- Antony Jay

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci PHOTO

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch PHOTO

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu PHOTO

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha

There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers
of acting and reasoning as fear.
- Edmund Burke

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk

No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein

Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller

Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman

Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller

Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Words are a lens to focus one's mind.
- Ayn Rand

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

The universal Mind contains all knowledge.
It is the potential ultimate of all things.
To it, all things are possible.
- Ernest Holmes

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The monotony and solitude of a quiet life
stimulates the creative mind.
- Albert Einstein

Learning never exhausts the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller

For every minute you remain angry,
you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb

All wrong-doing arises because of mind.
If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?
- The Buddha

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.